Why Is This Life So Hard? What a Chaplain Learned from Grief and Cancer Patients

Why is this life so hard?

At some point, almost everyone asks that question.

Sometimes quietly.

Sometimes through tears.

Sometimes while sitting in a hospital room wondering how everything changed so quickly.

It’s a question that doesn’t require a philosophy degree. It simply requires living long enough to experience disappointment, loss, uncertainty, or heartbreak.

During our conversation on The Grandpa Channel, hospital chaplain Jenny Richards offered a perspective shaped by both personal grief and her work with cancer patients.

Life Interrupts Us

One of Jenny’s most memorable observations was that life often feels like a regularly scheduled program.

We make plans.

We choose a direction.

And then we imagine how the story is supposed to unfold.

Then something interrupts it.

A diagnosis.

A death.

A relationship ending.

Or even a dream falling apart.

Jenny described these interruptions as some of life’s greatest opportunities and some of life’s greatest work.

Not because they’re easy.

Because they’re unavoidable.

Pain Doesn’t Play Fair

Working with oncology patients has taught Jenny something simple but important.

Cancer is indiscriminate.

It doesn’t care how old you are.

How healthy you’ve been.

How much money you have.

Or how good your intentions were.

Life often feels unfair because sometimes it is.

Many of the people she serves did nothing to deserve what happened to them.

Yet every day she witnesses extraordinary resilience.

Not because people choose suffering.

Because they choose how they respond to it.

We Don’t Always Need Answers

One of the most powerful lessons Jenny shared came from her chaplaincy training.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is stop talking.

Hold the silence.

Wait longer than feels comfortable.

Allow someone space to express pain without rushing to fix it.

As humans, we often feel responsible for solving suffering.

But not every wound needs an explanation.

Sometimes people simply need someone willing to stay.

A Different Way to Look at Hard Things

When people ask why life is so hard, they’re often hoping for an explanation.

Jenny’s perspective offers something different.

Not an explanation.

But sometimes just simply, a companion.

The reminder that suffering is part of being human.

And that love, presence, and connection often matter more than answers.

Reflection Questions

• What interruption changed the direction of your life?
• Have you ever grown because of something you never would have chosen?
• Who helped you carry a difficult season?

Listen to Jenny Richards’ full episode on The Grandpa Channel to hear more lessons from grief, chaplaincy, and walking with people through life’s hardest moments.